More than a single (Hmong) story

What happens when we can see our lives in more than just one way?

If we ask the average Wisconsinite, they may come up with this single story for being a Hmong American: Big families, low income, first generation college students.

If we ask the average Hmong person, they may describe being Hmong American as one of loss, separation, and brokenness.

So what happens when our experience is summed up in these ways? What happens when we agree with these single stories?

We start to believe these single stories. Our actions start to align with these single stories. We start to live in a our lives bound by societal limitations.

Hmong people are story tellers.

It wasn’t until the 1950’s that the written Hmong language was invented. And even so, today a majority of Hmong people still experience the language verbally. So that means that our history and our stories are still being passed down via story telling.

Story telling is in our culture. It might show up in gossiping circles, but that is storytelling.

What does this mean for therapy?

My goal in therapy is to pull out more stories from these singular lines. And if we did do that, we may hear stories of families living together and contributing, hard working parents with no formal schooling, working long hours with the hope that their children get into a good higher education. And for the younger generation, a person who loves the clothing but doesn’t speak the language.

We can start to engage with a Hmong identity identity that is expanding and changing. It can include children who don’t speak the language. It will include individuals who are part of the LGBTQ+. It will include children who are of two or three races.

My hope for the Hmong community is that we heal. Yes, the trauma our elders have gone through is in the past, but they have yet to heal. And, we, who grew up along them, have yet to heal. And we deserve to be healed – our children deserve for us to be healed.

We can honor the past while looking toward the future. And I truly believe that we have the capacity to do that through using our language and culture to tell the stories that are still waiting to be made more richly known.  

Nyob Zoo (Hello)

I am a therapist, based out of Milwaukee, WI. My work is informed by the Narrative Therapy perspective. I believe that the stories we tell ourselves are an essential part of working through the problems in our lives. If you resonated with anything written here and want to connect, please feel free to reach out to me via my contact page.

- Bao