Reflections from a BIPOC Therapist

My lived experience as a person of color, the work I put in to translate that lived experienced into how I show up in the therapy room.

WHERE I AM COMING FROM

I don’t believe that by simply showing up as a person of color in a therapy room, I would instantly create a sense of safety in a client who is also a person of color. I know that individuals from marginalized communities can absolutely engage in and hold racist, anti-black beliefs towards others.

For example, I once was told by my colleague that historically anti-black microaggression against her was often perpetuated by Asian women. I was disappointed but not surprised to hear about her experience. I also didn’t feel the need to apologize on behalf of the Asian community - because I don’t speak for the Asian community - nor are we a monolith. What I did do, was hold onto this knowledge that we are all swimming in this racist water, and the best thing I can do is acknowledge it, put in the work to unlearn and challenge my own bias and anti-blackness in my interactions and thought with others, even as an Asian woman.

There is that saying that losing weight is not a diet, it is a lifestyle. And I believe that to be the same for challenging racism and anti-blackness. That it is not a place we one day achieve, but an active refusal at every opportunity to engage in racism and anti-blackness, and then an active engagement in stories and support of black and brown folks whether through media and/or community events.

SO WHAT DOES THIS LOOK LIKE IN THE THERAPY ROOM?

This often means that I try to not show up with assumptions. Instead, I will engage in questions and curiosity about your life. Just as the Asian community is not a Monolith, so too are no other community of color. I am particularly interested in hearing your stories - of what it means to be you living within these systems.

I think one of the failures of a therapeutic relationship when working with a person of color is never bringing up or acknowledging that the client exists in a racist system. This is not to say that I will impose this idea on the client. I have at times offer conversation around racism, just for a client to attribute other unjust system as the problem. In these moments, it is important to allow the client to lead where the conversation go.

For others, the invitation to acknowledge how the racist system is affecting them has open the door to rich conversations about injustices and what they stand against and more importantly what they hope to stand for even within this system.

Outside of systems, I find myself listening for stories or moments in which it would be appropriate to get clarification on how an identity of a client (keeping in mind other intersectionality such as race, gender, class etc) contributed to the incident. Would this be happening if you were a man? If you were a white person? Again, it is so important to invite client to situate their problems within the current racist system but respect if they prefer to situate it elsewhere.

Part of being able to dispel dominant stories of identity and self worth is attached to being able to recognize how the current system often negatively portray marginalized groups in media, and/or how the system has a great influence on how communities talk about and reinforce harmful ideas about certain groups and about themselves.

Another part of getting away from the hold of these systems is helping clients find their voice and giving space to their lived wisdom. Questions such as: What are your hopes, dreams, commitments, preferred way of living if you did not allow these system to have so much influence over your life?

All this to say is that if you are a person of color who is searching for therapy, I hope you keep some of my reflections in mind when finding a person who can support all the different parts of you.