New to Therapy: step by step on how to find a therapist

Specifically helpful tips for those looking for a therapist in Southeastern Wisconsin

Written by: Bao Yang, MSW, LCSW

If you search up “therapist in Milwaukee” or even “Asian therapist in Milwaukee” you will get so many answers (most of which are ads or paid sponsors of bigger therapy companies.) And if it is leaving you feeling disconnected or overwhelmed, let me give you some places to start.

Woman writing in her journal.

Before even doing your research, reflect.

Ask yourself:

1) What do I need the therapist to understand without me having to explain? What lived experience do I want my therapist to have?

Are you a part of the BIPOC community, are you someone with a disability, a gender identity, or do you have a role such as being a parent, a single parent etc.

If there is a part of your identity that has a major role in the context of the problem in your life, it would then be important to prioritize that lived experience from your therapist.

2) How do I imagine the working relationship with my therapist to look like?

Are you hoping to be able to talk out loud? Do you want problems to be operationalized into skills? Do you hope for the therapist to provide reflections of your thoughts? Do you want coaching calls outside of sessions? Do you want to be called out or be gently challenged?

3) What do I need in order to make progress? How do I define progress?

Do you need concrete therapy homework in the form of worksheets? Do you define progress from session to session as how much you are able to practice skills learned in session? Do you define progress, as how much understanding and insight you have about the problems and about yourself?

Once you have the answers to these questions we can move on to actually googling things.

Woman standing in front of two doors, one red, one blue.

Insurance vs self pay

SELF PAY: Be honest with yourself about how much you can afford. Therapist is often seen as an investment, because you will put a lot of time and money into it. Therapist is not a one time purchase. Most people will spend at least 6 months with a therapist. One of the most unfortunate thing that can happen is that you stop doing therapy because you can’t afford it anymore.

If you are planning to pay out of pocket then knowing how much you want to pay for each session would be important before starting out. Usually most therapist expect you to see them weekly for the first few sessions. Most therapist are clear with how much they will charge (just a note that the first session - the intake - is more expensive than the regularly psychotherapy session).

Yello rotatory phone against a green background.

3) Pare down based off boundaries:

Ask about the therapist boundaries and have a rough idea of your boundaries/what you’re comfortable with.

Some clinics allow coaching calls in between sessions, some ask you to wait til your next scheduled appointment. Maybe a therapist only works remotely, or maybe she has ability to do both. Some clinics have a strict no call/ no show policy. If you know that you struggle with inflexibility and would feel hurt being charged a late fee, it’s important to ask and be informed. If on the other hand, a clinic that preferred you call to cancel but does not have any real consequence to your no call/no show, and you know historically you would not be accountable then don’t work with that clinic.

I have found that some clients who have identify anxiety as a problem are more appreciative of being able to communicate with me outside of session for reassurance (this is when I worked in a community mental health).

Final Thoughts

At the end of the day, finding a therapist that works for you will take time. Know that, as a therapist, I want to help everyone, AND I know that I am not the best person for everyone. Remember that you know yourself best, and the person who makes the final decision about who you will work with is you.

I hope these tips helped with the selection process. Good luck!

— Bao

Image of Bao.

I am a therapist, based out of Milwaukee, WI. My work is informed by the Narrative Therapy perspective. I believe that the stories we tell ourselves are an essential part of working through the problems in our lives. If you resonated with anything written here and want to connect, please feel free to reach out to me via my contact page.